Everything is starting to catch up

and so are my emotions.

I'm scared not only for me but for my family. From having a father who got hit by a van and now is living in pain to having a mother is no longer sane. I love them both so very much and it's hard for me to deal with these situations because I always end up speechless and say "Oh." or repeat the same things I've already repeated.

I feel like an asshole because I want to start my life as a young responsible adult as soon as possible and be independent but hearing my father say things like "I might be in a wheelchair in a few years" Just make me worried and uncomfortable.

I've listened to people tell me I've lived a rough life. I have. I've been through too much then I should have but that's what has made me strong and independent. I know I lack in common sense demartment most of the time but at least I can own up to my mistakes and forgive myself. I've accepted I'm not perfect nor will I ever be.

My heroes truly are the people who have been through the worst and still stand on their two feet. I don't know. I'm just starting to grow up and see the views on other people's lives.

People are different in a good or bad way. I'm done with being so judgemental. Everyone has something they're not proud of and that they are. I realized I'm not proud of having pictures of me... or doing drugs in my past and even hurting others feelings.

I wasn't into hard drugs. I thought it was cool when people said they did "e" and all that stuff. When really it's not. It's just a object to cut off a path in your life and leave you no where. I've tried cocaine, hash, weed, shrooms and had some laced weed. I was stupid and hanging with the wrong crowd. There is such thing is pure pressure and I hate it.

I've had my number with guys and I know lots of people think I'm a whore from my mistake but I don't care. I have my true friends and that's all that matters. The fact that I'm starting to realize 90 percent of you just bitch about something for entertainment is pathetic. Go fuck yourself.

I've accepted my past and moved on with life. I'm happy with where I stand. I have my family and my friends that's all that matters to me.