You said jump

and so I did.

I cannot describe how I feel towards people anymore. I have no care for what I have said or may have done even if it hurts the people who love me most. I'm starting to just give up on myself again.. I do not want to go through all the same bullshit I did before. It's time for me to get my feet on the ground and to stop laying on my back as if I just got hit in the face by the unexpected. Like they say expect the unexpected but I've been expecting change...

I've made no change, I've made nothing of myself. I've been willing to become a better person but yet I've seen nothing. I'm ready to grow up and make better choices. I always say things like this but I'm really serious this time.

I'm not willing to let my guard down...but sadly I have been. It's time for me just become something instead of nothing.